What is marriage for?

Two men sit quietly on adjacent couches. Their daughter is playing on the floor when she glances up.

"Daddy?"

Both men respond to the call.

"Where do babies come from?"

The two men look at each other, eyes wide with the unspoken exchange: Here we go. Did you see this coming? I didn't see it coming. How're we going to deal with this? The expression on both the men's faces are not new to anyone. Everyone dreads this question.

"Mommies have babies, dear," says the first man. "That's where babies come from."

"Can boys ever have babies?"

He chuckles to himself. "No, dear. Only mommies can have babies."

The second man looks on, rather disturbed by this onslaught of perfectly normal questions, questions any couple sees coming years before it actually does.

"Megan says you have to have a mommy and a daddy to have a baby."

The annoyed and uncomfortable daddy chimes in. "Maybe we should spend less time over at Megan's house."

The first daddy ignores the second man. He wants to answer his daughter's question. "What Megan means is that it takes a man and a woman to make a baby. That's all."

"She said that mommies and daddies have to get married first."

The second daddy shifts in his seat. You start to wonder if he's feeling guilty or just angry that they have to discuss this at all.

"N-no, sweetheart. You don't have to be married to have a baby."

Cue Full House music.

"Then..." The little girl casts her eyes down before lifting her chin back up to finish voicing her thought. "What's marriage for?" She looks at second daddy, and second daddy raises his eyebrows to the first daddy.

End clip.

Yep, that's a Yes on 8 commercial.

Personally, I don't see the point of this video. I know it says that we shouldn't confuse children...but isn't this more of a teaching moment than anything else?

The subtleties involved here spoke volumes compared to the rest. I was glad to see a parent speaking so directly to his daughter about what would have to be a very difficult subject, especially in a gay household. So much of this conversation was left out.

Undoubtedly this little girl may have to deal with some issues. She may wish for a mommy, but in some situations two daddies is better than a bad mommy and daddy. While no one can replace a mom or a dad, role models can be substituted. After all, what do single parents face on a daily basis? Sometimes this is just how things work, and given certain alternatives, it's not always as bad as it seems.

Aside from that, problems at school may arise from other children who have been taught that it is a sin to be gay and that she or her fathers will go to hell for the heretical "family" they've created.

Like I've said before, this proposition will hardly rid the world of homophobia.

I wince whenever this point is made though, that marriage is solely for the creation of children, to ensure the lineage. In the past, marriage has been solely for the man. The woman was just his means to an end of ensuring his name carried on through the eternities. Women were given to men along with a dowry - as if the woman wasn't enough, the man needed extra incentive at times to take her on. After all, women can be so demanding.

If this is the "traditional marriage" we want to keep, then I say begone with it.

(and no, that's not originally my train of thought. go visit Feminist Mormon Housewives - they say it eons better than I can. Props to those girls - excellent posts, and please don't let the title turn you off. I know how the church feels about feminists. Give these girls a chance.)

Marriage has evolved through the years. Women are no longer property, but co-equals (at least in most households. Unfortunately no religion lacks chauvinistic asses in a man's clothing). Marriage is no longer about ensuring the family name gets passed down, it's about love.

And now, for the most part, American marriages are more about love than they are about creating children. Yes, it is written in the law that if a couple marries and the man or woman finds that their partner is infertile or barren, this is legal grounds for annulment. I don't imagine this happens very often lately. Our problem in the here and now is the fact that people don't understand that love doesn't protect you from heartache and misunderstandings. The divorce rate is as it is because too many people don't hold marriage sacred anymore. It's a convenience. It can be, especially for many strict Christians (hello fellow LDS), an excuse to have sex.

It is not entirely about the children. Yes, many couples marry and expect to rear families, but anymore this is more about love and wanting to share the rest of your life with each other. There is safety and security in that. There is stability, respect, the commitment - ideally - to work with each other through anything.

Gay couples, like infertile couples, can adopt children. This one of the noblest causes, I believe. Yes, these children may face unique challenges by having two daddies or two mommies, but we can't reject this for fear that a child may face bullying. The most important thing is that a child has a home to go to where they can find security in their parents. The world is full of idiots, and we can teach our children to stand up for themselves. We can protect them.

(And, uh, by the way: Dude was right. You don't have to be married to have a baby. Whether you should is up to individual beliefs and values.)

So what is marriage for?

I know exactly how I would've answered that question.

(side note: Maybe he asks everyone this, but I've just been asked to contribute to Mormon Democrats from time to time. Yay!!)