At the time I didn't know how to put it all into words and he said we could talk later. It's been weeks, so I thought perhaps he forgot, but since my serial absence at church and reiteration to the RS President that not only did I not want to teach, I wasn't about to agree to be part of the Enrichment Committee I think he's decided to give me a buzz.
So we'll see how that goes. I'm more ready for it now. I don't know what to expect exactly. I'm not always the most aggressive person in a face-to-face situation or even the most assertive. I've been working on changing this. Though I like my bishop as a man, I need to be honest with him and not spare his feelings because he's a big boy and I'm not attacking him personally. Just answering questions and talking about things.
The again I wonder how necessary this meeting really is. There's really nothing to say to me right now. While I'm not preaching on the rooftops my disappointment, disagreements and anger toward all or part of the Church, I still talk about it here at least. It's not that I hate everything; in fact lately I've thought much about the good the Church has brought me. But I'm still angry and disappointed and other things I've no words for yet. Though I've need to work through this, I'm okay except for our close friends and family still being in the dark. At least as far as I know. Perhaps some do read and remain quiet.
So it'll be...interesting.
Anyway, I found this quiz over at Mild-Mannered Musings and thought I'd waste a couple minutes. The results are hardly surprising, but it was fun enough:
Your result for The what kind of Mormon are you? Test...
Sunstone Mormon
-4 Orthodoxy, 4 LDS knowledge, -5 Cultural homogeneity
Orthodoxy ranges from (-) anti-, non- and liberal Mormon, to mainstream, conservative, and fundamentalist Mormon (+).
You're on the cutting edge of LDS progressivism. You believe scholarship and change would benefit the LDS Church, but you realize that your place in Mormonism is marginal.
Take The what kind of Mormon are you? Test at HelloQuizzy
Anyway, Happy Easter everyone! I hope you have a fabulous weekend. As for me and mine, we'll be at my grandma's house. With a ranch and all, it's good for the kids. They get lost, have fun, and leave me alone, haha.
I'm actually rather relieved it's almost over. Those Cadbury Creme Eggs will be the end of me /droooool.
16 comments:
I'm not always the most aggressive person in a face-to-face situation or even the most assertive. I've been working on changing this. Though I like my bishop as a man, I need to be honest with him and not spare his feelings because he's a big boy and I'm not attacking him personally. Just answering questions and talking about things.
Mormon Bishops are not demigods. They're just regular people. Most of them (at least in my experience) try to do their best, though there are exceptions. It seems like you know yours well and in the subtext I get a picture of a decent fellow.
I think it's important to let the bishop know that even if you don't want to be a member of the LDS church, or don't want a calling, that you'll still consider yourself a *Mormon*; and while you might be a social critic, you will still be supportive of the community when it does those good things in the real world which don't conflict with your conscience.
Ours is a very polarized tradition, and the average bishop doesn't look forward to hostility or conflict any more than you do. You seem to express yourself well so I'm sure you'll come out of it with whatever measure of reconciliation is possible or desirable.
Best...
First, I am thrilled to announce that, according to the quiz,I am "the perfecr mormon"! And to think that I was worried about my imperfections..hah..I will worry no longer:)
Good luck with the bishop. I would be very sincere and straight forward because, let's be real, who knows how many people have tried to evade enrichment committee? Probably hundreds")
But seriously, good luck. At the end of the day, you have only to answer to yourself, your children, and God. You probably won't be saying anything to him that he hasnt heard quite a few times before. Bishops should seriously get some state recognized Continuing Ed credit towards a counselling degree.
It really bothers me the way Bishops think (are told to think) that they somehow have the right to pry into and know about people's intimate lives, just because they're male and got picked by some other guy to be a totally uneducated, unlicensed psychologist.
I don't think you need to tell him anything, unless you really want to
Oh, and according to the quiz, I'm a Son of Perdition. Quelle Surprise!
Oh, and according to the quiz, I'm a Son of Perdition. Quelle Surprise!
Strange. That's what I expected, but I rated as "Challenged Mormon" instead.
I got "Mormon Intellectual." -3 orthodoxy, 6 LDS knowledge, 1 cultural homogeneity.
The cultural homogeneity point came from the question about ward potlucks. I have to admit, I like funeral potatoes.
Misfit Mormon
4 Orthodoxy
7 LDS knowledge
0 Cultural homogeneity
...but for most of the questions my actual brand of Mormonism wasn't represented in the answer choices, like the one about the Church leading people astray, most of the ones about prophets, the first vision, and a few others.
Happy Easter to you too, Lisa. And good luck with your bishop!
Greg: We've only been in the ward for short of a year. That said, he's a good man, which makes it more difficult for me to be straightforward.
My last bishop, however...
I would hope saying so to him would be enough. I do hope. This is the first week in weeks I'd actually like to show up (maybe because it's Easter?) but we're ditching today.
If I seem to express myself well (thank you) it's only because I spend so much time editing and whatnot. I can be a bit of an idiot when it comes to spontaneous discussion ;)
Lori: Ha! If they did get any credit, I'd hope they'd get some training as well. I've experienced some shit for counseling from bishops before.
But anyway, thank you :)
Craig/Cain: Ah you know it's because they are the "father of their ward" and since I'm a baptised member of the ward I need to have a heart-to-heart with him so he can help me come back to the fold.
I've a bit more confidence in this guy than in the last one I had (oy vey) and trust that he's just concerned. That said, I'm trying to not allow the cynical side of me to take over and convince me his concern is purely obligational.
Steve: I have to admit, I've never had funeral potatoes :)
I think I've seen them around but they never looked that great to me. I'm picky.
Soxy: I wish the answers would've represented a broader spectrum as well. I had to choose the best of on a few questions.
Chris: Thank you!
Lisa, as one who has battled with a few leaders over the years, I want to give a small fraction of advice. Personally, I can't close any doors. I may have some miraculous spiritual experience that alleviates my doubts and fears and allows me to once again feel confident in my membership.
While that may not be the case now, I can't say that won't be the case tomorrow, or next month, or next year, or 5 years from now. However, if you were to run into an ambitious old school bishop or stake president that tried to force your hand into making a decision on your membership status, your future ability to embrace truth may become more difficult (again assuming the the truth leads back to Mormonism). However, if you run into the wrong priesthood leader and they pull a stunt and call a court, you have shut that door.
What I'm taking the long way of saying is this: Don't ruffle feathers needlessly. If you really think a bishop or priesthood leader can help ease your doubts or help find answers you need, then do it. But do so cautiously because if you don't think he can help, then the risk outweighs the reward.
You can always just ignore him, if it is like most wards outside of Utah, 2/3 are inactive and ignore him anyways...
Mormon Intellectual
1 Orthodoxy, 6 LDS knowledge, 7 Cultural homogeneity
Yum, funeral potatoes. Several of the answers didn't have good choices, and others had the answer I'd give, but I would use a connotation that's probably different than the one used for the quiz.
"For some reason I told him I was having a crisis of faith, which isn't really the case anymore. I think I was afraid of telling him the truth."
Just to clarify.... what is that truth? What are you not telling your bishop/family? I know at some point you were at a stage of unsettling uncertainty, but working things out. Have you made some sort of decision?
I would second much of what T.J. said. I've had some great bishops, but I've encountered some nasty, narrow-minded priesthood leaders as well. My philosophy is to just mind my own business and maintain my boundaries, unless there is some reason that I really need to speak with a bishop.
I guess all I'm saying is to just keep your guard up.
So--I'm just going to post my quiz results:
5 Orthodoxy, 6 LDS knowledge,
3 Cultural homogeneity
making me a:
Perfect Mormon (*snerk*)
"The obedient Latter-day Saint.
Temple recommend in hand, you live the gospel every day. Like a city on a hill, you remember the slogan every member a missionary. You beat your peers in seminary scripture chase, and you look forward to (or fondly remember) your beautiful temple wedding."
Yeah--dunno how well that actually evaluates anything...
Hope it goes well.
P.S. I'm a Radical Mormon
-6 Orthodoxy, 6 LDS knowledge, -18 Cultural homogeneity
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