Thursday, June 18, 2009

Hill of the Foreskins

My husband and I sat, dutifully, in Gospel Doctrine. In the front row, even.

Things were well--until he broke into hysterics.

I playfully elbowed him in the side. "Shut up!" I hissed.

He didn't stop.

"What is it?"

He points to his scriptures and reads in a whisper:

And Joshua made him sharp knives, and circumcised the children of Israel at the hill of the foreskins. (Joshua 5:3)

Now I'm breaking into hysterics. We're giggling like we're ten years old--and indeed right now I cannot fathom why it would be so funny--but at the time it was absolutely hilarious. I don't think our teacher or fellow class members thought so, but damn it, sometimes you have to laugh.

I mean, the visual alone is, if not funny, gross. Couldn't Joshua and his crew come up with a sleek Hebrew or even "Reformed" Egyptian name? Like Irreantum in the Book of Mormon, 1 Nephi 17:5?

Hill of the Foreskins.

Ewwwwww.

4 comments:

Urban Koda said...

If it helps, I just spent the last 5 minutes in my cubicle, chuckling away to myself!!

Cindy said...

I would do the same. Last Sunday the guy in front of us in Gospel Doctrine picks up a water bottle with a brown drink and ice that had to be ice tea, coke, or at least root beer. My husband and I looked at each other and started giggling. We didn't understand why no one else was laughing.

(My husband also has a theory that conservatives don't have as good a sense of humor as liberals.)

David said...

I think God must have a really good sense of humor. I mean, he'd have to, right? How else could there have been a Book of Mormon character named Shiz?

Ashton Emerald said...

We all know that Abish was a bitch!

Would you prefer Gibeah-haaraloth?

Btw, I think it is quite immoral to have male babies circumcised. If the child wants it done later when he can make an informed decision, that is his choice.

You could say that we are still crucifying male penises on the hill of the foreskin. End the needless suffering now!