Monday, February 16, 2009

Last Post

I've considered this for a while now, unsure if I can do it - if I want to, and tonight I've found the courage and determination. I have to retire this. This blog has granted me an outlet essential to my own mental salvation and has let me know I am hardly alone. The strength I've found here has amazed me.

Here's the problem: the Church and my disaffection with it has become too central to my life. It dominates conversation and has shoved every other interesting part about me out. Tonight during a conversation with a longtime friend, I found I had little else interesting to talk about and it's grown old. This is not who I am - friend or foe, the Church should not be this much a part of me. People can only handle so much of my bitching and complaining and honestly, I can't either. I need to figure this out and just decide. I won't as long as I blog about it.

Later I hope to start up a new blog, but I'm unsure when that will happen. Perhaps with time, self-reconciliation, and new found energy I'll renew my efforts there with a different focus. I've also other endeavors I want to explore. This blog and the thoughts therein crowd everything else. I can't do this anymore. I may want to, but as we know wants and needs are two different things. I shouldn't do this anymore. Not now.

I appreciate so much the support I've found here. I'm happy to say I can stop while I'm ahead. I know many who "follow" my blog do so because they've found a kinship or some worth in my words. Flattered doesn't begin to describe. I'm honored, really. It is my prayer that inasmuch as we allow others to worship how, where, or what they may, I wish that we can allow the same of ourselves. God knows our hearts. In that I can trust - or at least hope.

Thank you all so much. I wish everyone the best.
Lisa

24 comments:

Alan said...

Very sorry to see you go, though I understand. To everything there is a season. I hope you will keep the blog up and accessible for others who may discover it in future, and will post again if/when you create another blog so we'll know where to find you.

[kɹeɪ̯ɡ̊] said...

Sorry to see you go too. I've enjoyed discussing these topics with you and seeing your perspective. Good luck with everything.

Amanda said...

Good luck, and make sure to let us know if you start something new up elsewhere.

Urban Koda said...

Kind of a bummer, but definitely a valid reason. I'm wondering if perhaps I should consider the same approach...

All the best!

Kengo Biddles said...

We'll miss you, but it was good to know you. Let us all know when you start a new blog -- your candor has always been refreshing.

Aerin said...

Best of luck to you in your journey. I've appreciated your posts as well. You have an honesty that is refreshing to read. I would be interested in being included if you do start blogging again.

cmhd said...

Good luck. I will miss pondering some of the questions/issues you raise. Take care.

Natalie said...

Aw man. I finally have time today to catch up and visit your blog again, only to see its ending! :_(

But I understand. :) We still have facebook.

Katie said...

I'll miss you, Lisa! But I totally understand. I wish you the best and will miss your posts!!

Maren said...

Take care Lisa, in knowing that there are indeed a lot of us "out here" who stuggle with the same things as you have. I hope you find peace and happiness, wherever that is!! We'll miss you...

Lisa said...

Thanks, everyone. I'll definitely let you know.

Cindy said...

Lisa, I've enjoyed reading your blog. To be honest, your questions about the Church have interested me but weren't why I originally drifted over here from facebook. I was enjoying your posts on politics and writing and books and such. Hopefully you'll be able to start a new blog sometime where your focus is on something that can give you more happiness. You should be writing, it's a talent you have.

Good luck! I wish you peace and happiness in your future endeavors.

Steve M. said...

I'm saddened by this, but I totally understand your decision. Best wishes, and I hope you'll continue to drop by my blog from time to time.

belledame2 said...

I'm sorry to see you go too. I will miss all your interesting blogs and insights and being able to reply to them. Hope you can get out of California sometime and find a better place to live.

a33eponine said...

I haven't been reading long, but I'll also miss you. Best of luck in wherever your life takes you.

Val said...

I too am sorry to see you go but I do understand. It becomes all consuming and I get that you need to get away. I just found this blog, however, so I hope you do leave it up for awhile. Thank you for your thoughts.

Dibakar Sarkar said...

I don't even know whether you'll be at the state of reading my comments or not. Still I believe to be read. I started following your blog, even after going through the painful obligation. I will follow it. And I wish you a happy comeback with a renewal of blogging energy.

Gay LDS Actor said...

Until next time, I will miss your thoughts. Good luck.

shannon j said...

Life is so crazy. I feel like every time I am thinking about something, I come to your blog and you have written about the same.

Over the last couple months I have become obsessed with reading blogs about controversial issues and the church. I realized all this was really bringing me down, and I was spending way too much time complaining. Last weekend I realized I needed to take a break from the internet. I got on tonight to just check things out and low and behold it seems as though you have written about the same things I have been thinking about, again.

I am still going to church- I don’t see myself stopping anytime soon. However I have decided to begin my own search for spirituality and how to have it in my daily life. I’m going to be reading about mindfulness, meditation, and yoga for starters. Good luck with everything, I’ve enjoyed reading your thoughts.

eped said...

wow, just barely found your blog as you're hanging it up. best of luck and thanks for that Nibley quote.

COL55 said...

Lisa, this is my first, and obviously last visit to this blog. It is interesting that you are retiring for the reasons you are. I am in the same situation. My disaffection with the catholic church has dominated my time and energies far too long, and I have allowed many things of interest (ecclectic assemblage art especially - some of which is posted on facebook) to languish. I applaud you for the decision.

Grégoire said...

Dear Lisa,

Like you, I've been at my own crossroads. My children are approaching their teenage years, and I had always planned on teaching them a little about Mormonism in this part of their lives.

Neither has ever been to Utah, nor have either of them ever been to a Mormon service. The religious Mormons they know (my relatives) have been horribly abusive to them and to their mother in our limited interactions.

I hope that you'll keep this blog intact, at least for a while. It can be useful to illustrate the fact that not all Mormons are true-believing nutcases. Some of them do think for themselves and some of them even have the courage, occasionally, to make their own decisions.

Best,

Greg

Stephen said...

I found I had little else interesting to talk about and it's grown old. This is not who I am

That is a wise observation

Gwenny said...

I'll miss you. Good luck!