Our Supposed Monopoly on Morality

My head hurts, and it's not from headaches this time. It's from continually banging my head against the desk, wall - I even banged my head against Eric's during prayer last Sunday (guess what we were praying about? Yeah. My 'amen' was absent then, you'd better believe).

A couple of things have occurred in the last few months that have caused me to think, caused my shoulders to turn into brick. Read these comments:

"Well, non-members just don't have morals."

"In my opinion, there are good people who are non members."

A good friend of my husband and mine said the first one, and, coming from a non-member family, I about jumped down his throat.

The second quote was said in a recent Relief Society meeting. While I'm glad she thinks so, the idea that she had to qualify her statement at all angered me. The idea that anyone would disagree with her, that she would think anyone would is just beyond me.

Of course there are good people who aren't members! I'd dare say better than some.

And of course not everyone thinks this, but that there are even a few is far too many.

I want to expand on something I wrote in my entry entitled Charity. You may remember my story about going to the San Francisco Giants game with a few friends and noticing a man rummaging through the garbage dumpster. My friend went back, grabbed some food out of the car, and gave it to him while I was trying to get past him as fast as my little legs could take me.

What I left out, on purpose, is what happened as she gave the food to the man.

Another man approached at the same time and handed the guy a can of beer. I had a couple of different, immediate reactions to this:

1) Is this okay?
2) How cool.

Is this okay?

It was a can of beer, and I thought about the teachings I had growing up about not giving a beggar any money because he or she might run out and get drunk or high off of it. I also thought, with my nose rather high in the air, "Wouldn't something else be far more beneficial to this man than a can of *gasp* beer?"

Almost as quick, I realized it was more than okay, it was a wonderful gesture of respect.

Something strong flitted between the two men. A can of beer, outside our church, is more than a can of beer. It's a way men bond. It's a show of respect. It's not immoral for a lot of people to drink beer, and might I dare say that it's not necessarily immoral period to drink beer. Latter-day Saints don't because (a) it's potentially addictive (b) not so good for you, or (c) because the Word of Wisdom says not to and we want to go to the temple.

Does this doctrine make us better than anyone else? No!

I almost wonder if this stranger's offer of beer was somehow better receieved than the Twinkies my friend gave him. Though I'm certain both were appreciated beyond measure, the beer was a way, almost, of patting the guy on the back. It was almost a way of saying "I don't think any less of ya, here. Have a beer."

I know it might be kind of difficult for some who haven't been around people who drink often, and honestly it's a little weird for me anymore. My family drinks when they get together, though. Nobody gets drunk, they just have a couple beers and wine with their Thanksgiving dinner.

There are good people outside the Church. There are amazing Penecostals, Baptists, Catholics, Buddhists, Sikhs...and yes, even Athiests and Agnostics. I have met some of the most amazing people who don't subscribe to our beliefs, some of the most humble and respectful people ever. People some in our Church would be blessed to meet.

Just like conservatism doesn't have a monopoly on what is good and moral, neither does the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

If you think we need to be better in our missionary efforts, if you wonder why more people aren't jumping in the baptismal fonts, I'd like to submit the idea that perhaps we sometimes think we're better because we know something more, something different, and anyone else who doesn't is below us.

That isn't love.

Even the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve would agree with that.

The Wait for Eight

Arizona's already passed their version. Florida, too.

As I type this, I find out now California has joined the throng.

After ensuring an Obama win *dance* I went to check the news on our very own Prop 8. What I found around 9 o'clock last night that it was, with 11% of the precincts reporting, passing with 55% to 45%

I used to wonder how I'd feel if that proposition passed, being stuck between that stupid rock and a hard place, but last night I realized that I wanted it to fail, how sad it made me to think it wouldn't.

It was like wondering if I'd get to my polling place, stand there and stare at the ballot, wondering what the right thing to do was.

That didn't happen. I voted without a second thought.

I know I don't need to tell anyone this; it's really none of your business, and it's none of mine to know how you voted unless you care to tell me (or I already know).

But my reaction to the early news last night surprised me, and the news this morning saddens me. The only thing I can think of is that this thing is so headed for the U.S. Supreme Court.

My heart just dropped though. I know, Bad Mormon! But these are people's lives we're voting on. Good people. Good people who only want good things. Good people who don't want to affect our religious beliefs, only to be entitled to their own beliefs, to be entitled to live as anyone else.

In a good faith effort to understand, I went to my bishop on Sunday and tried to see if I'd been missing anything. My bishop is an unapologetic supporter of the cause, and he's been working tirelessly with members of my ward to pass this thing. Though I don't know him very well, I consider myself a decent judge of people and I trusted him (unlike my last bishop...).

I told him I struggled with understanding, that I wanted to do the right thing. Please tell me why this is the right thing.

My gut told me going in this wasn't going to change my mind, and it didn't. I told him most everything I've told you. He asked me why I voted for Prop 22 back in 2000. I think he was expecting a "because the prophet said so" kind of answer, but the truth was that back then I didn't know what the Prophet said (I was very green in the church), I grew up in a Republican household, my mom was for the Prop and I wanted to please her and prove that the Church was good, and well, aren't all LDS Republican? Don't all Christians vote against gay marriage? Isn't acting on homosexual tendencies wrong? I wanted to be good.

I think my answer threw him off, but he was respectful of it. I didn't want to get into a debate with him. I told him it bothered me that so many seem to think I'm going to get ex'd or something for being against this prop. He said he wouldn't put it against me if I was against it. It was between me and the Lord.

It was nice to hear. Though I wasn't looking for his blessing, it was nice to hear, and I wanted to be able to tell you all that too.

Maybe I went in to speak with him as more of a reporter, but anyone who knows me knows I don't treat things of this nature flippantly.

I voted no.

And I hoped with everything in me it fails - the fact that we voted on a person's right to marry just makes me sick. It makes me wish I would have done more to stop it. That I'd have responded to the person who regarded the proponents as "the moral majority."

But I felt too alone and too scared to do more. Even up until yesterday.

Damn.

He won he won he won!!!!!

It was barely 8 o'clock in the evening here in California when Obama was projected winner - not even 8:30 when McCain offered his concession.

People are crying. I'm ecstatic.

333 electoral votes and counting. "Landslide" doesn't even begin to describe this.

Now the idea I and so many others had of having to stay up late tonight, chewing off our fingernails in a repeat of 2000 seems silly.

Barack not only got the blue states, but key red states as well.

He nabbed Pennslyvania almost right away. Then Ohio. And just some minutes ago, Florida.

Hope always wins.

Vote for Barack Obama

Just voted for Obama - I feel amazing.

I know a lot of you are tired of this election and cannot wait for tomorrow morning, but I'm totally jazzed up and can't help but think I could've done or said more. I hope I've said and done enough.

If you haven't voted yet, please go with your gut. Go with hope, not fear. Go with a man who knows what its like to start near the bottom and work his way to the top. Go with a man who put off school and a decent income ($1ok a year) to work in the inner Chicago neighborhoods to help the less fortunate have a better life. Vote for a man who had a single mama. Vote for a man who knows what it's like to not have daddy around. Vote for a man who understands race both black and white - far better than McCain ever will. He's experienced it. He knows. Vote for a man who will tax fairly and use those tax funds for the greater good and not to make the rich richer. Vote for a man who believes in investing in our future. Vote for a man who will fight for you. Vote for a man who is focused and determined, who hasn't compromised his ideals and values for political expediency. He is who he is, and as long as we've known him that has not changed.

Vote for a man who not only believes in himself, but in all of us to make the change necessary to bring this country back to life.

BARACK OBAMA 2008

Would everyone SHUT UP about Socialism!

It's not socialism!

Socialism: social and economic doctrine that calls for public rather than private ownership or control of property and natural resources. According to the socialist view, individuals do not live or work in isolation but live in cooperation with one another. Furthermore, everything that people produce is in some sense a social product, and everyone who contributes to the production of a good is entitled to a share in it. Society as a whole, therefore, should own or at least control property for the benefit of all its members.

Honestly, it doesn't sound that bad to me. But I know people aren't ready for this. I know the attitudes of most if not all people go against this. You would have to have a body of people ready and willing to follow this. You would have to be purged of most, if not all, corruption. Honestly, I would think more LDS would have a softer spot for this idea.

And no, I'm not anti-Capitalism. I just don't drool at its shrine like some do. It's not by any stretch of the means a perfect system. It leaves too many behind and allows too many to ignore them. It's a class system: upper class and lower class. Middle class is for those who make too much to qualify for assistance and yet too little to thrive. I find, too, that those who are able to break through the lower class threshold somehow think they've license to judge those who have not been able to. It's disgusting.

But anyway.

McCain is capitalizing (haha) on Obama's unfortunate choice of words. McCain and his buddies think it was more than just a freudian slip of the tongue, but...ergh.

By the way, what has proved to add up to a $1 trillion bailout? Buying up banks? Buying so much stock that the government now owns companies like AIG? That's socialist.

The government programs: Welfare, WIC, Food stamps? That's socialist. (agh! these programs suck, too. I think we can do better)

Our public schools, fire, and police? Socialist.

Palin raising taxes on oil companies and handing out the profits thereof in the form of checks to each Alaskan resident? Socialist. (by the way, for what I know, I'm not so much against this.)

When confronted with the fact that the bailout is a huge socialist move, even McCain has said there is a time and a place.

Obama is liberal. He's voted with his party on many, many things. I don't necessarily see this as a problem, though I understand why some do. We want a president who will work with all the people regardless of political convictions. I do believe with everything in me Obama is open to being wrong and listening to others. I know this from the things I've heard him say. I know this from those who have recounted stories of working with him, seeing a junior Congressman speaking with and against veteran Congressmen. He doesn't respectfully defer because of their experience. He was voted into office and he intends to do his job. Not many people do this.

He's a liberal.

He may be more liberal than most.

I appreciate that he's not trying to centralize himself for political expediency. He is who he is.

But what he has suggested is not socialist. He wants to bring taxes back to where they were when Clinton was president. He wants the middle-class to have a tax break and give the top 5% back their taxes because they can afford them. Because, as he's said, as well off as he is, he should not be paying the same taxes as a waitress does.

I know some of you have issues with the ideals behind that. Punish the successful? I get it. I really do.

But we should punish the unsuccessful?

Yeah, that'll help.

I don't see it as punishing the successful as much as I see it as an opportunity for those who have to contribute more to society. I know a lot of you may see this as compelling charity, which is wrong, but then we must work with the attitudes of people. When businesses go up, oftentimes they are required to help build up their surrounding area (fix up the landscaping, streets, etc). This is no different. Let's help. Let's build up when we can. This isn't tithing, people. This is taxes.

Listen, it's easier to make money when you have money. When you have no money, it's really hard to make it - harder still to become comfortable.

We say we want smaller government. Republicans generally support smaller government - unless you're George Bush. Unless you're John McCain.

Oh yeah - and Obama is not calling for Universal Healthcare. His plans will not, unfortunately, cover everyone. It's a step though.

By the way, I'm going to post quotes over the next few days in the hopes it will sway those who are not planning to vote for him. I think many conservatives would be surprised. You can find the quotes to the right side of your screen.

I want to be honest.

It's funny how hard that can be, sometimes.

I'm an unapologetic Obama supporter.

My biggest issue with Proposition 8 is the Church's unrelenting, overstepping involvement in it. I don't like how they call those who wish to marry "selfish" (and I could cite if you'd like) because they won't be able to naturally "multiply and replenish the Earth." I get why the Church felt the need to state a position, but this is really over the top.

That said, I've read up on the Church's involvement with the Civil Rights movement - there were Scriptures abound that totally went against what the Church was saying. I understand that gay marriage is a bit more complicated than that. That said, I believe marriage is a good thing. I don't believe we should force our beliefs onto all people - I would hate it if Catholicism, for example, tried to make divorces illegal.

I'm just pissed off at the attitudes. Aside from the "selfish" thing (which is just so damned divisive and wrong I can hardly stand it), there are far too many members of this church who can't seem to find an ounce of compassion or an ounce of ability to really see what it is like to be gay in this world. Especially in the church. It's unbelievable. It's like people forget our gay brothers and sisters are people too.

Go read When Your 15-Year-Old Son Says “I’m Gay”

Please. Just read it.

Homophobia exists everywhere, granted, but there is a special kind of homophobia that exists in the Christian churches including our own. I've seen it, heard it, and it's just so unbelievably un-Christlike to make me sick.


Aside from that, I deleted a post I published yesterday. There were a few things I think I said out of more anger than anything else. Yes, I've heard that some in the church suggested the "negroes" deserved all the rights they were given and that God put them on their own continent for a reason. That said, our church was against the Civil Rights Movement. Accept it.

We were against the Equal Rights Amendment. What I forgot in my zeal is that, as far as my knowledge of the amendment appropriates (I haven't looked at it in a long time), I'm against it too. I just think it's lame that we have a history of saying things like this will ruin the family.

Our Church highly, strongly encourages the women to stay home. I stay home. I think it's best for the kids - but I want and need to work. It's why I blog, it's why I write. I'm not wired to be June Cleaver, and I tired about a year ago of trying to be June Cleaver. I get annoyed at all the women who try so hard because I don't buy it. That doesn't mean there aren't women who sincerely love it and don't want to do anything else (has anyone heard of the Duggars? Holy hell! I won't judge her, but holy hell! There's one woman absolutely wired to be a mommy), but my life is not my kids. I don't consider myself a feminist, but I definitely hold some of their ideals close to my heart. I also like being taken care of by my guy :)

Some women make better mommies when they work. I don't know that I'm one of them, but I know of a few off hand who do.

I do think our church has some issues regarding women and brushing them aside. I do. I've seen it. I've heard of it - like in Sunday School with the story of the stake president asking a newly called bishop's wife what she thought of the just extended call. She said "I don't like it." His response was a virtual "too bad."

What the hell.

Yes, a lot of things make me very angry. I'm a pretty angry person about a few things right now. I've got a lot going on in my head and it's not going anywhere. Part of it may be due to just my own personal life right now. I'm on my own a lot. I don't have a large circle of friends in the area - I don't relate with or share interests with a lot of women in the Church. I never really have. As much as I would like to hang out with someone, I'm just not that type. It would have to be someone who would just let me be. Someone who could make themselves at home. Someone I wouldn't have to entertain. A kindred spirit. Someone who wouldn't fuel the fire anymore than it already is. I don't need nudging. I just need an unbiased ear.

I'm angry, and I am confused (about some things). I also know what I know, and I'm acknowledging things I've tucked into the back of my mind because they deserve to be acknowledged - because if you don't they come back to bite you in the ass. I've got the bitemarks. I don't want any more.

Plug!

My first entry for Mormon Democrats was posted today.

It's entitled Spread the Wealth. It's what Brigham Young Would Have Us Do

Love to hear your thoughts - feel free to comment at the site :D